


With All My Thoughts

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Communication, Haiku, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Sam and Dean Being Stupid, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy, seriously this story is entirely written in haiku, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 22:16:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9291815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Cursed to separate,They learn to open their heartsDespite all difficulties.Or;A fic from Sam's POVSolely written in haikuFor shits and giggles.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Neneko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neneko/gifts).



> Written on the occasion of Wincestare Cattive Come Sam's Secret Santa 2016, for the prompt: _to save the world, Sam and Dean are forced to make the most extreme sacrifice; they can't see each other anymore. But one day they realize they can communicate with their minds — so it's easier to apologize and tell each other the truth. On their dying day, they can both feel that it's about to happen, but they're at peace, and finally, they reunite in Heaven._
> 
> I tried to do my best. ;_;

_i._  
  
For we were selfish  
We caused one more disaster  
What should we do now?  
  
We struggled so hard  
And learned that, to save the world  
We mustn’t keep in touch  
  
This is our fault, Dean  
People died because of us  
My guilt consumes me  
  
How could this happen?  
It started because we fought  
Driven by anger  
  
Maybe I should leave  
We hurt each other, always  
Your silence irks me  
  
You don’t even try  
To stop me, to say goodbye  
While I pack my stuff  
  
Why should I look back?  
Clearly my brother doesn’t care  
Not anymore, no

 

_ii._  
  
Sunshine, paella  
A small town in Asturias  
This is my life now  
  
Freshman Spanish, bitch  
I’ll put it to use at last  
Hola, yo soy Sam  
  
Mind you, I still hunt  
Gotta take care of duendes  
I hate those assholes  
  
People here are nice  
I don’t deserve their kindness  
I’ll disappoint them  
  
My landlord’s gentle  
Neighbors smile and laugh with me  
Fuck, I’m not worthy  
  
It’s stupid, I know  
I still hope I will come back  
But Cass says I can’t  
  
Dean’s too far away  
Does he ever think of me?  
I miss him so much

 

_iii._  
  
One day I wake up  
To the sound of Dean’s singing  
Boston, seriously?  
  
Oh, I’m an idiot?  
Because I find Boston meh?  
Stop being in my head  
  
I’m hearing Dean’s thoughts  
This is surely a dream, c’mon  
It’s not? You’re kidding?  
  
We have to fix this  
Stupid witches, I’ll kill them  
This prank isn’t funny  
  
It’s freaking awkward  
Hearing all your thoughts, I mean  
Isn’t this weird for you?  
  
You know, it’s been months  
Since I last heard your damn voice  
I almost forgot  
  
Thanks for missing me  
Have you been watching chick flicks?  
Haha, just joking

 

_iv._  
  
Dude, I have nothing  
This book of spells is useless  
How can we fix this?  
  
Try asking Castiel  
I mean, might as well do it  
Asking costs nothing  
  
What did Cass tell you?  
It’s a gift sent from Heaven?  
It’s sweet, but... no, thanks  
  
So it can’t be helped  
We have to live with this, then  
Talking through our minds  
  
Let’s watch a movie  
Shining, Star Wars, whatever  
It’s your turn, you choose  
  
Too bad you’re not here  
Spanish pies are delicious  
You’re missing out, man  
  
My thoughts are noisy?  
You are eight hours away, right  
Sorry, go to sleep

 

_v._  
  
Dean, do you know what?  
Luz told me I’m more handsome  
Because now I smile  
  
She’s just a neighbor  
I met her this afternoon  
When you were asleep  
  
You envious? Don’t be  
On a more serious note, though  
Why’d you let me leave?  
  
It hit me just now  
Why are you so jealous, Dean?  
Why weren’t you back then?  
  
I’ve just realized  
Being so glad to have you back  
Made me forget grief  
  
Dean, did you hate me?  
Were you glad to see me go?  
Was I a bother?  
  
Are you pretending?  
To enjoy my company?  
Please, tell me the truth

 

_vi._  
  
I’d never hate you  
I thought you wanted to leave  
I thought you loathed me  
  
Despite what you wished  
You never had your own life  
While I clung to you  
  
I’m such a failure  
As a brother, as a son  
Dad would be furious  
  
I always lose you  
I lost you to Stamford, Sam  
To Lucifer, too  
  
You’re better than me  
Although it meant losing us  
You cared for others  
  
What about me, huh?  
I would sacrifice the world  
Rather than your smile  
  
I am selfish, but  
I chose to do one right thing  
So I let you go

 

_vii._  
  
In this right moment  
I’d hug you tight in my arms  
If only I could  
  
Truly, I’m sorry  
I should not have doubted you  
Dean, I’m so stupid  
  
I hated your calm  
I thought you didn’t care at all  
It was a nightmare  
  
Promise me one thing  
I’ll be your one and only  
You’ll have no one else  
  
Keep this promise, and  
In return, you’ll be my sun  
We won’t ever part  
  
Now I’ll close my eyes  
Please sing me a lullaby  
And I’ll fall asleep  
  
There’s one last thing, though  
Just one thing – don’t forget it!  
That is; I love you

 

 

* * *

 

 

_epilogue._  
  
Twenty years have passed  
This is our last day on Earth  
We have little time left  
  
I lay out my plans:  
I have to say my goodbyes  
To friends and neighbors  
  
To make my last meal  
I’ll go grocery shopping  
And buy a salad  
  
I’ll drive to a lake  
I will stare at the water  
And enjoy the sun  
  
And last, but not least  
I’ll ask you how you’re doing  
If you have regrets  
  
And as for me, well  
I’ll tell you that I love you  
I never stopped to  
  
You’re mine, mine only  
I’m happy to be with you  
Nothing else matters

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from _I of the Storm_ by Of Monsters and Men. Listen to it. It's perfect.  <3


End file.
